Fate is Sometimes a Cranky Whore
by Gabrhil
Summary: All Tomoko ever really wanted was a friend, maybe a boyfriend. Someone to keep her company and make her days as a high school student suck less. Then in a cliche boy-meets-girl moment, she found him. Things don't go quite the way she hoped, but when does it ever? Rated M for language, (im)mature humor, lazy writing and Metal. No idea if you can consider it a Romance, but whatever
1. Go Forth and Die

The air inside the equipment shed reeked with sweat and shame. Inside there were two students, a girl and a boy. They laid on their sides back to back at a distance, and they both had their arms wrapped around themselves. The girl was of a very small stature. Her messy black hair covered one of her eyes that were wide with horror. Her lips were held tightly shut and the dark circles under her eyes made it seem as if she had bore witness unto some unworldly abomination. The boy was slightly taller. His long dark hair reached his shoulders. His build was not quite athletic, but stronger than average. His expression was almost identical to the girl's. They didn't say a word to each other, though they shared the same thought. I've made a huge mistake.

Earlier that week...

Kikuchiyo woke up to the sound of Swedish Death Metal. He grabbed his phone and checked the time. Five more minutes, he thought as he hit the snooze key.

Tomoko dragged herself out of bed. The sunlight peeking through her window let her know it was time to get up. And no matter how much her tired mind tried to fight it, was her body knew the routine and acted on its own. Fuck my life, she thought as she got to her feet.

Eighteen...nineteen...twenty. Push ups done, squats check, sit-ups check, laser-beams check, he was ready to go. All he needed was a shower, cloths, and food.

She walked down stairs dressed in her school uniform for breakfast. A yellow dress jacket, and long skirt. Her hair was unkempt and dark circles sagged under her eyes. Her expression read "kill everything," but she wasn't particularly upset about anything. That's just the way her face looked.

He really didn't want to go to school. But what else was there to do?

She could skip, but then what? There were eight freaking hours to work with and she couldn't go home until they were up.

And just what the hell was he going to do in those eight hours anyway? He walked out the door and went on his way. He wasn't too excited about coming home anyway.

The sunlight hurt her eyes as they tried to adjust. Always has to be so fucking bright in the morning. She wished the damn thing would just explode already.

Today is gonna suck, they thought.

Kikuchiyo Kurosawa wore his uniform jacket open only to the last few buttons giving him a bit of a Fonzie look, though it didn't work quite as well with a yellow dress jacket as it did with black leather. On his collar he showcased a band pin; today was a Scorpions day. He had his sleeves rolled up to show the Motörhead sweat bands on his wrists. Dress code didn't allow him to display a band shirt, but this worked just fine for him. His hair was at shoulder length and though not relatively messy was very oily. He never washed his hair specifically for that reason. A day in his life was usually uneventful at best. His attitude towards people didn't help much.

"What the hell are you starin' at!?" His usual response to people he found staring at him. Or talking to him, or looking in his general direction. In fact, it was just the way he greeted people period.

"Nothing, bro." Answered one of his classmates. "Just wondering what you were listening to."

"Kreator." He responded flatly. He really wished these assholes would mind their own goddamned business. 5,000 yen said they had no idea what he was talking about anyway.

"Is...that an American group?"

"German." Yup, totally called it.

"Don't get how you can listen to that stuff, man. All that screaming, you can't even understand it."

"Motherfucker, most of this stuff is in English anyway. Of course you wouldn't understand it, but that doesn't keep you from listening to that shitty foreign commercial pop." The glare Kikuchiyo gave his classmate was that of a territorial animal primed to rip apart anything that came close to it.

"Okay, geez." The generic classmate backed off. What he got for being trying to be friendly to _this_ guy.

He spent eight hours a day having to take notes and listen to the teachers drone as they read from their books. For Baldr's sake couldn't they just leave him alone and let him enjoy this, what some would call ironic, moment of peace? The solace he found while listening to his music was almost a religious experience. Because of which, he did not like to be disturbed.

A day in life of Tomoko Kuroki was no better She was...Well shit. This fanfiction is more or less based on her story anyway; there is little need for introduction. Loner otaku, social anxiety, creepy as fuck, passive-aggressive, and about a pill pop away from becoming a Japanese gender-bent Rusty Venture. Seriously, if you're not familiar with her, then why are you even here? Go read the manga, or watch the anime. Its funny if you have a dark sense of humor. If not, this story might not be for you anyway. Just go on, get outta her. Just leave.

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, she thought watching the clock. It's almost time for lunch, almost break time. The bell rang, the teacher closed her book and left the classroom as her students began to form their own little groups, unpack their lunches, leave the room, etc. Tomoko gave a sigh and stretched out over her desk. She didn't say anything, but her thoughts were screaming chants of victory for getting through another lecture. A few seconds later, all the chatter in the room started to bug her. So she packed up a few things, lunch bento, PSP, and the manga book she was reading and left the room as well.

There were several places she liked to isolate herself during the lunch break. She usually ate in the library, but things got a little...complicated after a reunion with an old "friend." Fuck the library, it was too crowded anyway. She knew a spot that was damn near isolated, a passageway between the North and South school buildings. Only one or two people would pass by it on very rare occasions, and she could enjoy solitude. God I'm so fucking lonely, she thought to herself. It wasn't so much that she despised being around other people but more that she envied how everybody else had friends that brought some speck of light in an otherwise mundane existence. She deeply wished for at least one friend to make school suck just a little less. Perhaps at some point a high school romance, though it would be asking for way too much all things considered. She didn't expect anyone to be in her spot as she reflected on her life, or lack of one. "What the shit?" She said aloud when she saw him.

He was thrashing his head around, doing something weird with his hands, and he was speaking in, what she was sure was, in tongues. The sight bewildered and almost scared her. Did she just walk in on some Pagan ritual?

He didn't really have the time (more like the patience, really) to learn how to play, but air-guitar was good enough for him. So long as nobody saw him, he felt free to cut loose and jam out to DevilDriver. And with the frequency of people passing by this spot, he felt he could take anyone who tried to mess with him here. Well, that's what he thought before he saw a small girl staring at him as if he was possessed by some kind of demon. His earbuds fell out as he awkwardly stared back at her. They locked eyes as a shredding guitar solo blared out of the tiny speakers. They couldn't quite explain the feeling they shared. Time seemed to stop as they looked into each others eyes. It was as if fate had brought them together. Fate, however, is sometimes a bit of a cranky whore.

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**AN: This is meant to be a prelude for a crossover fic I had an idea I had a while back as well as my first attempt at fanfiction in a long time. So enjoy, criticize, have fun guessing what the crossover's gonna be, and SLAYER!**


	2. Hello From The Gutter

Kikuchiyo had an odd Zen about him. When he was tense he would become hostile, and when he was relaxed he become not-so hostile almost passive. Relatively normal. But one thing that made him tense was being in a crowd of people. What relieved this tension was slamming his weight into someone else to the sound of metal. If you've been in a metal mosh pit you'd understand, otherwise, not-so normal. However, because many places do allow you to do this, he did the next best thing instead. He sought privacy and rocked out until his neck went limp. That or he would roll a joint and smoke up depending on how his rations looked and how stressed he felt.

"Uh...hi." he said. He was surprised to see someone else here. A girl, no less. He did need to good look at her to make sure he had more than seven days to live, but he confirmed it was a human female. This was supposed to be a relatively secluded area. She saw him jamming out, didn't she? God damn, this was embarrassing.

"Um...H-hi..." she replied nervously. Though he looked intimidating, he seemed to be feeling just as awkward as she was. It put her at ease. "Um...T-this is...this is my usual spot." she said trying not to sound rude. She was usually very shy around most people, especially boys. Maybe it was because someone was more embarrassed than she was for once that gave her a small confidence boost.

"Oh, my bad. I-I didn't know."

"N-no, i-it's fine. I just didn't expect to find someone..." She searched her vocabulary for a word meaning to appease the gods of old. "...dancing here."

"Again, sorry. I just...I just needed a minute to myself is all."

"Y-yeah. M-me...Me too. My...classroom was too noisy and crowded."

"I hear ya'. I don't know why, but unless it's a circle pit, I just can't deal with crowded areas." She stared back confused and smiled sheepishly. She had no idea what a circle pit was. "It's where people form a circle, and then get in the middle of it, and slam into each other." he explained. The way he put it made it sound real stupid. "It's like a dance at...metal concerts."

"Oh, okay." It all made sense to her now. He was one of _those_ freaks. Explained the hell out of the long hair and the head banging. "Well, I don't know about concerts," There was no way this was worse, she told herself. If anything this probably tops him. "But I did go to an autograph signing once."

"Oh, cool. For who?"

She coughed in embarrassment. "He does voice overs...for otome games. I got him to say a few lines for me." Wow, never mind. It actually sounded a lot sadder out loud. "Y-yeah. I-I'm really into games and manga..." And her attempt at recovery fell just as flat.

"Oh, okay." So she was one of _those_ freaks.

There was an awkward silence before she finally said, "W...well, I...I kinda have to eat this. You know, before lunch break's over." She lifted her lunch bento up slightly.

"Oh yeah. I'll just get out of your way."

"No, you don't have to leave." She offered.

They were both that desperate for some kind of company. Their new "companion" couldn't be that bad, right. She ate her lunch rather quickly while he sat there with his ear buds in place bobbing his head. The silence created a very uncomfortable tension.

"So, what are you listening to?" She asked as if she really cared.

"Um...DevilDriver." He answered as if she would even know or care. "It's an American band I really like." He didn't know why he bothered, he knew she had no idea what he was talking about.

She nodded. She had no idea what he was talking about, nor did she give a crap. This is what it's come down to, she thought to herself. Trying to hold a conversation with this long-haired monkey. She really didn't care for that type of music, in spite of her opening theme being a tad bit metal inspired.

"You okay?" He asked when he noticed her shudder suddenly?

"Yeah." She responded. "Just this weird chill up my spine." It was like some heavenly force made a meta-joke about her.

So this is what its come down to, he thought to himself. Trying to hold a conversation with this bug-eyed little nerd. It's not like he didn't enjoy playing games or watching anime. He just couldn't relate to those geeky otaku types. They got so happy and obsessed over the weirdest things. It just pissed him off a lot. Judging from the circles under her eyes, he was willing to bet that she spent late nights doing nothing but browsing the web or rubbing one out to those otome games she played. What a sad dildo.

She didn't know anything about metal heads, just the things associated with metal; violence, anger, Satan, vikings, electric guitars, and lots of screaming. The hell did he have to be so pissed off about, anyway? It was just lost on her how anyone could obsess over that kind of music. She was willing to bet this was the kind of guy who did nothing but smoke weed and thrash his head around all day while complaining about the government. What a sad dildo.

Tomoko finished her lunch, but stayed in the small alley with her new...acquaintance. They sat across from each other quietly. The tension stirred as they stared each other down, like gun-slingers of the American west at high noon. It was Kikuchiyo who drew first.

"So, what kind of music do you listen to?" Mostly those songs from anime, he was guessing.

"Uh...I guess I listen to everything." That was his second guess. "Do...Do you play any games?" 5,000 yen on violent and gory crap. Do I hear 5,000 going once, going twice?

"Eh...I like shooters. Fighting games are pretty cool. I always liked Mortal Kombat." Sold.

They looked away from each other and sighed. The tension just kept on getting heavier.

"I should probably get back to class." she said to him as she got up.

"Alright, see ya' around." He breathed a sigh of relieve after she left...

It was easily the most strenuous and painful ordeal of her life...

He was just glad to be rid of her...

If she never saw him again it would be way too soon...

He couldn't quite put his finger on it...

But there was something about him...

He just...

Did...

Not...

Like.

Kikuchiyo made his way back to his home room digging his pinky in his ear. Whoever said "if it's too loud then you're too old" obviously never used ear-buds. But he liked his metal loud and proud, and if a blown out eardrum was the price then he was willing to pay. "Desperate times call for desperate measures," he quietly sang to himself as he slid the door open. "Go ahead and pour that gasoline. Desperate times call for-what the fuck?" His train of thought was interrupted when he noticed something awry in the classroom. One of these kids was not like the others.

Tomoko propped her textbook up, and looked into a tiny make-up mirror she "borrowed" from the girl's bathroom. With a marker pen, she drew fake eyes over her eyelids just in case she felt like dozing off during class. She paid very close attention to the mirror; the fake eyes had to be convincing. Right eye, perfect symmetry. Left eye, eh not as good but it could pass. Her hair covered it most of the time anyway. She put her book down all ready for class when she noticed there was a guy staring at her. Oh god, there was a guy staring at her! Her anxiety was about to overload until see took another look at him. Oh great, it was _that _guy. Wait, it was that guy!

"The hell are you doing here?" They asked in unison.

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**AN: This chapter feels kind of weak, but please bear with me. In cannon, Tomoko doesn't really interact with anyone on her own so I did what could. That and I really wanted to get a Chapter 3 up before the Holidays start. **


	3. Can I Play With Madness?

"This is class 2-10, sir." Tomoko growled while trying to be respectful. She also kept her voice low to avoid drawing attention to herself.

"Yeah, I know. Class 2-10," he replied. Kikuchiyo did not seem to care as much about discretion. "This is my home room!"

There was an awkward silence before she said, "I've been in this class since day one, when the hell did you get here?"

"Last month! I've been here for a month!"

Another awkward silence fell as it hit them. Did they really pay so little attention to their surroundings that they never noticed each other in class? If they were in the same class, how the hell did he make it to her spot before she did? How did they not recognize each other in the slightest? What in Hel's name was happening? The story is just beginning and already the plot holes, dear god the plot holes!

"Mr. Kurosawa," the teacher said as she walked in. "Please take your seat." There was a hint of scorn in her voice when she spoke to him. "Ms. Kuroki, I see you've made some, very questionable, acquaintances." She sounded disappointed. Kikuchiyo grumbled as he made his way to the back of the classroom. Questionable acquaintance? Tomoko began to wonder. Was he a delinquent? He looked a little rough around the edges, but he didn't seem that bad.

She never got to see how well her fake eyes worked. Throughout the rest of the day, he was all she could think about. Questionable acquaintance. Was it something he did? Her finger wasn't really on the pulse of the community so, if he did anything wrong, she wouldn't know. Should she even get involved with this guy? She didn't really care for him anyway, so why should she bother? For all she knew, he could be a member of some biker gang or something like that. It was none of her business, but curiosity was eating her up inside.

As the last class came close to ending, Tomoko kept one eye on the clock and the other on him. When the bell rang, he practically hopped out of his seat and headed out the door. Habitually she was always the last to leave due to her anxiety around people. Her logic was the longer she waited for more people to leave, the less she had to deal with. Kikuchiyo, on the other hand, was the first to leave. His logic was the quicker he left, the quicker he could get away from everyone. This sudden change made her uneasy, but her one-track mind kept her focused. She just had to know what this guy's deal was with the teacher. Speaking of whom, Tomoko's observation efforts did not go unnoticed by her.

"Kuroki, before you take off, can I have a word with you?"

Fuckin' great. This teacher, who we will call Sensei because the manga neglects to give us a name, was always giving her crap about how she needed to socialize more or how she needed people in her life to help her grow up. What did she know? She was a gym teacher for Christ's sake! She didn't need people to grow up, she drank milk.

"I know I keep telling you it's good to make friends and you should make more in class, but I'd steer clear of that Kurosawa character if I were you." she warned. "I dated a guy like that in college once. Gave me the worst case of German Herpes."

"Uh...G-good to know." That was way too much information. Tomoko bowed and slowly slunk out the door then walked down the hallway. She moved at a steady pace to avoid drawing any attention whilst keeping Kikuchiyo in her sight. Her body quivered nervously as she made her way though. She seldom left this early. The halls were so crowded. So many people either going home or to their after-school clubs. It was like she was in a river of bodies. No, she had to keep focus on her objective and go with the flow. She managed to pull through and track him to the shoe lockers at the school's entrance. She pinned herself to the side of the one he was using and watched him gather his things. Hostile feelings emanated from like a feral dog. This is the part where he knows he's being followed, she thought. Any minute now, he would call her out. Yup, any minute. However, if he did know he was being followed, he obviously didn't give a shit as he grabbed his and left. That agitated the hell out of her.

"For the love of..." She had a sudden burst of courage after frustration beat out shyness. "Hey, skid!" She cried jumping out in front of him. He jumped back in surprise. Obviously he didn't know he was being followed.

"What the hell do you want?" He asked angrily.

"In class, the teacher didn't seem to like you. She called you a 'questionable acquaintance' Why is that?"

"Because reasons, kid. Go bug her about it." He answered walking off.

"FYI, we're about the same age! And also, I don't want to ask her; I want to ask you!"

"Well FYI, I was held back a year so I'm the older one. And FYI, it's none of your god damn business!"

"Is it because you have German Herpes?"

"What? No!" he snapped back, "Look, I didn't exactly have the best reputation in school to begin with," he lied to maintain a "bad boy" image. He didn't have a reputation, period. At least, not until..."The 'accident' didn't help too much either."

"The 'accident?'" Her interest peaked. "What accident?"

His eyes widened as his head filled with the sounds of that terrible day. "I don't! Talk!...About the accident! You fuckin' got that?" he said with a death glare aimed at her.

Tomoko recoiled and looked back at him with pouting eyes. "I-I'm sorry. I...I was just curious." she replied sheepishly.

He gave a sigh. Damn it, she actually did look kind of cute. How could he say no to that face? "Let's just say my brother is an ass, okay."

"Heh, brothers, huh? I...I can relate. Sometimes my little brother can be kind of a...eh..." That outburst scared away her confidence, but something about him now helped her to relax and recover.

"Yeah, well I'm actually the youngest in my family. And there's no way yours is worse." He looked off into the distance. "I fucked up really bad, and he used that as a way to frame me for something he did. I just can't forgive him for that."

Tomoko gazed at him with starry eyes as the wind blew by dramatically. Dark secret, lone-wolf attitude, brotherly grudge, this dude came straight out of a shonen manga!

"Kuroki, right?"

"U-um...y-yes. And you're Kurosawa, right?"

"Yeah. I always did wonder where 'Kuroki-level fail' came from."

Her heart was pounding and her breath grew short. What was this feeling she had? It was new to her and-Wait a second, what did he just say to her?

"I don't need your pity, okay?" he said as he walked off, "I don't need anyone looking down on me, especially someone like you. I get enough of that shit at home."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she cried aloud as she watched him walk off into the sunset.

"Exactly what you think it means, you nosy bitch!" he shouted back without breaking pace.

"Are you calling me pitiful?!"

"You're damn right I am!"

"You Asshole!"

"Condescending freak!"

"Long-haried monkey!"

"Fuckin' harpy!"

They continuously shouted curses and insults back and forth until he was finally out of earshot. Whatever that feeling was that Tomoko had, it didn't last very long. By the end of their exchange, she was really more confused than she was upset. What just happened? Did she just fall in and out of love in less than three seconds? Oh well, it wasn't like some sick twisted divine force was trying to ship them to appease its own dark sense of humor. Time to go back home to the usual routine. Games, internet, and sleep.

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**AN: I did warn you about lazy writing. For anyone interested, crossover hint hidden in this chapter. Character development in the next.**


	4. Blood Brothers

There was an irony to Kikuchiyo's timing when he left school. He wanted to get the hell out as soon as possible, but was never in any hurry to get home. He liked to waste time at the music shop on the way, and sometimes a few of the venues to keep up with album releases and local shows. He didn't have any friends outside the venues, so he never expected to meet anyone. There was a face however, he did try to avoid. One he happened to spot when looking for the new Sabbath that came out a while back. It was his old sempai, Makoto. Oh crap it was Makoto, his best (and only) friend. He was his best and only friend until "the accident." Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact, fuck he made eye-contact. "Makoto," Kikuchiyo greeted, "buddy, what's...what's up?" He just couldn't forgive himself for what he did to Makoto.

"Fuck off, you stupid prick." And neither could Makoto.

"Are you still mad about the..."Kikuchiyo shifted his eyes back and forth his old friend's prosthetic arm.

"Yes, I am!"

"Okay to be fair, you're the one who gave me that pot."

"And to be fair, there's a time and place for everything Kurosawa! Shop class is not the time, and the buzz-saw table is not the place!"

"Uh...Oh wait, hold on a sec." He pulled out an old flip-phone and faked a glance at the call-screen. "Oh look at that, my mother's calling. Gotta go!" It wasn't his mother; the phone wasn't even ringing. But it was a way out of this awkward situation.

"Go to hell, cock-bite!" Makoto cried as Kikuchiyo walked out of the store.

And he thought meeting the Kuroki girl was painful. That was absolutely excruciating. At least guilt didn't stab him in the chest and twist when he was trying to make conversation with her. While his phone was still out, he went ahead and checked the time. Ah, he was gonna be late for the train anyway. Might as well pay Kanbei a visit.

Of his six older brothers, it was eldest Kanbei, that he hated the least. They were only half brothers of the same father, but theirs was a bond was stronger than those between their own full blood. Although in Kikuchiyo's case, that isn't saying much. On his way home from school, he would often visit Kanbei and they would listen to music and shoot the shit. He always felt that of the six, the oldest was always there for him whenever he needed him. And after the nervous breakdown, he felt like he needed to be there for him too.

Kikuchiyo knocked at the door of a suburban...shack. "Yo, Kanbei. Open the fuck up!"

"Yeah, I'm coming cock-knocker!" called a voice from inside. The door opened revealing a middle-aged bearded man. "'Sup little brother. C'mon in."

Inside was a disorganized and disgusting shit hole. Gnats flew over the piled up dishes in the sink, dirty laundry and trash littered the floor, and the smell alone was enough to bust him for possession of marijuana. Those who met Kanbei as a businessman would have seen his living space and assumed that he hadn't been the same since his nervous breakdown. His family, however, knew that he had always been the same, but with a little less "give a fuck."

"Lemme grab a cold one and play some tunes, then I'll meet you outback." Kanbei said walking to the fridge. He was not the devout headbanger his little brother was, but he did enjoy early 70's-80's hard rock such as Van Halen, Led Zepplein, and Black Sabbath and would play a vinyl when his brother came over. He put on an Iron Maiden record, his brother's favorite band, and cracked open a can of beer. "So what do I owe the pleasure, little bro?" he asked sitting down next to Kikuchiyo on the back porch. "What's on your mind?"

"Do I need a reason to visit my favorite brother?"

"No, but every time you show up you got somethin' to say."

"Eh, well I guess if I have to talk about anything...There's this girl..."

"Oh-ho, so little dude found himself a little lady!" Kanbei laughed as he punched his brother's arm, "'Bout time, kid. I was starting to think you were a little..."

"The fuck, Kanbei?"

"Well I mean you got that Rob Halford sense of style. So, what's she like?"

"Uh, well..." He looked up to think about Tomoko; something positive. It took him awhile before he went, fuck it. It's not like he cared for her anyway. "She's actually kind of a creepy little shit. I swear, at first I thought she was that girl from The Ring."

"You sure do have weird taste in women."

"It's not like that. She's a fucking otaku."

"And you're a damn headbanger."

"It's not the same, those kids are just so nerdy!"

"If I remember correctly, you geeked out hard when Megadeth got back together. And then you cried for weeks when Dio died."

"And I'm still mourning Jeff Hanneman." the youngest replied sadly.

"Well, if you don't like her, why are we talking about her?"

"I don't know, 'cause she freaks me the fuck out? I swear she was stalking me today, and she ain't even good at that. She just popped up out of nowhere and kept bugging me about 'the accident.'"

"Direct. I like that. Sounds like an honest and confident kind of girl." They were talking about Tomoko, right? "So whatchya' tell her?"

"I told her I don't talk about 'the accident.'"

"That's it?"

"Well what the fuck else am I supposed to say!? She just doesn't need to know about the accident. Plain and simple."

"Interesting."

"Why's that so interesting?"

"I don't know, little brother, you have this tendency to push people away and keep your distance. If you told her about it, then that definitely would have gotten her off your dick. Instead, you decide to get all mysterious. She must be something special."

"It's not like that either!" he snapped back defensively, "It's just none of her business what I did or didn't do!"

"Whatever. But just so you know, she will be back. Chicks dig the mysterious type."

"Well, we are in the same class, apparently. So I'm gonna have to see her again. Also ran into Makoto today."

"Bummer. Just constant reminders hitting you all day, huh?"

"Yeah. Kanbei, you believe me, right? That I didn't sell those drugs?"

"Tough to say. There's nothing pointing at you doing it, but there's nothing pointing away. Then again Kyuzo is kind of a little shit, so I wouldn't put it past him either." he answered before taking a sip of his beer, "Hey, shouldn't you be heading home soon? It's getting kinda late."

"Pft. Right." Kikuchiyo replied, "What do I have to go home to? The guy who framed me for selling drugs bumming off that grumpy old geezer so they can remind me of what a failure I am? Fuck that! I mean, first he called me a disappointment because I wasn't 'man enough.' And now I'm disgrace because I'm 'unrefined and uncivilized.' What kind of shit is that!?"

"Take it easy, Jim Morrison. You gotta understand that dad is very traditional and very proud of his samurai lineage. We're his sons, so that lineage is ours too and he expects a lot from us. And you're his seventh, so he kind of expects more from you."

"And look where all that expectation fuckin' got me," he said taking a look back into the house. He stared at the collection of various martial arts trophies and medals piled up in a cardboard box. "But you were showered with praise growing up, Kanbei. Dad was always so proud of you. Even Kyuzo, the motherfuckin' prodigy, lived under your shadow."

"'Cause I was his first son, duffus." he replied with a playful slap to the head. "And I followed dad's way since the day I was born. Look where that fuckin' got me. Damn near forty, divorced, single, no kids, a nervous breakdown, a business degree and a job as a damn delivery boy. I know dad gives you a lot of shit, but don't let him get to you. Living to please that old fuck just leads to nothing but stress, stress, more stress, and then this." He pointed to himself and took another sip. "Just be your own dude, dude."

"Thanks, Kanbei." They never thought about it, but what made their bond with each other so strong was failure. It was Kanbei, the first-born flop, who wanted nothing more than to keep his youngest brother, the unlucky-seventh, from following in his footsteps. However, with the cards the kid was dealt and the way he played them, it seemed like he was just born to lose. But that wouldn't keep Kanbei from trying. To grow up happy, in whatever path he took in life, is all he could ever ask of Kikuchiyo.

"Hey, can I have one of those?" Kikuchiyo asked pointing at the can his big brother was holding.

"How old are you again?" Kanbei replied raising an eyebrow.

"Seventeen...Is that a no?"

"That's a no, little brother."

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**AN: Apologies to any Slayer fans who for whatever reason might be reading this. It does feel too soon. Next update might be a little slow, I feel like I wrote myself into a corner here. That and Holidays. Merry whatever, if you're into that kind of thing.**


	5. (Take These) Chains

Tomoko sat at her computer playing a game about space ninjas shooting up clone troopers and robots (Seriously, dude. Warframe. It's free. Play that shit.). She was stuck on the same mission for the last thirty minutes completely forgetting what it was and preferred killing everything that moved. She hacked away at her enemies with her blade, blood and guts spilling everywhere, and...then she died. "Fuck!" she cried aloud slamming her desk. That was her last life, too. She spun her chair around and looked at herself in the mirror. Pitiful? What the hell did he mean by pitiful? Was it her appearance? Sure she wasn't the epitome of beauty, but she wasn't … Oh who the hell was she kidding? She looked pathetic! The baggy eyes, the messy hair, the small breasts, no wonder she wasn't popular. Now she was thinking negatively about herself. She was becoming the definition of pitiful! She screamed out loud in her frustration. That Kurosawa guy was really starting to get to her. Who the fuck did he think he was, anyway? What the fuck did she care what he thought of her? That fucking joint-sucker. Fucking cock-smoker. Why was she so upset over this anyway? Dear God, was she falling for him? Falling for that greasy headbanger? There was that weird feeling she when they were talking. Oh God, anyone but him! She'd even take the fat guy that drew a cute picture of her in art class last year over that barbarian.

Unbeknownst to her, the feeling she had during Kikuchiyo's anime-esque speech was not love, but heartburn from the spicy chicken she had for lunch. And that other guy only drew her with a cute face because it was the one he could draw. However, in her panic and lack of understanding of her own emotions she was unable to process these possibilities.

She told herself to settle down. There had to be a way to reason with all of this. If only there was someone she could talk to help her understand this, maybe she could get a better handle- A sinister grin stretched across her face as it hit her. "Oh, Tomoki..."

Tomoki Kuroki laid in his bed reading a manga book he borrowed from a friend. It was a long day, his soccer coach pushed them really hard, and he needed time to himself to relax. Then he got "the feeling." With a sigh, he counted down, "Three. Two. One." Right on cue, his door slammed open and his sister barged in. Before she could say a word, he told her, "Whatever it is, no. It's been a long day and I'm exhausted. Don't ask me for anything weird."

"I'm having boy troubles." Tomoko replied immediately.

Tomoki set his book aside and gave his sister a hard stare. "Really?" If there was anything she was good at, it was lying to people's faces. "Well if he keeps pulling your hair and calling you names, it means he likes you and doesn't know how to tell you." he said with a smirk.

"Oh well, I guess I never thought of it that way. I'm being serious!"

"Well, what do you want from me?"

"I am having feelings and I want them to stop."

"Okay, so let me get this straight. For a year you came to me griping about how you couldn't get a boyfriend. Now you're here telling me you want to avoid that with a guy you're crushing on?" Tomoki began to wonder if the door he opened was to his home or to another dimension; a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. But then again, when the hell did his sister ever make sense?

"What? No! No, hell no." Tomoko retorted, "I'm not crushing on that...mysterious, angsty... jackass," she added with a nervous laugh, "But, you know, if I were...How would I know?"

"Do you like him?"

"No."

"Well then..."

"Okay, so..." She rolled her eyes hesitantly, "H-how do I know if he likes m-me?"

"He'll talk to you more." he answered quickly and flatly.

"That...that's it?"

"Yes. That's all. He'll just start talking to you more. Is that all? Can you go now?"

"Yeah. I think I'm done here." She turned and exited the room, "Later."

"Oh, and don't stay up too late watching old movies again!" he called out to her, "I still have that scar from last week when you were watching Evil Dead!"

Sigmund Freud simplified the human thought process by dividing the mind into three parts; the id, the ego, and the super-ego. Id is primal desire, the part that compels you that takes what you want and destroy what you don't. Think the shoulder devil you see in cartoons. Super-ego is your sense of morality, the shoulder angel. And the ego is rationality that balances out the consequences of your actions, i.e. you being stuck in the middle of these metaphorical spirits as you try to reason with your dilemma. As Tomoko re-entered her room and sat down against her bed, she had one such conflict with herself.

'What, you're not just gonna let that motherfucker go are you?' her id said to her, 'He called you pitiful. Retaliate! Make him writhe like the worm he is!'

'He seems like the kind of person who needs a friend,' said her super-ego. 'Establish a mutual understanding and then you can make peace—Oh, who the hell am I kidding. When do you ever listen to me? I don't even know why I bother anymore.'

'You call that son of a bitch out on his shit! You show him how much higher you are on the pecking order. Show him how pitiful he really is compared to you!'

Call him out on his shit, establish a pecking order...

'And then when he's down, flay him and wear his dead skin like a mask!'

She really needed to stop staying up late watching old movies on the internet. That aside, she had also seen enough slice-of-life romances to know exactly where this was heading. She would start hanging around him acting high-and-mighty at first, then she would become tsundere towards him, and they would become so attached to each other after a while they would have no choice but to confess their love for each other at some point. For once, Tomoko's animeland way of thinking kept her from doing something stupid as she decided to fuck all that noise and just avoid that fucker period. Considering they were in the same class it might be a little difficult, but that didn't stop her from ignoring everyone else in her class. So that's what she was going to do, avoid him and move on with her life. The universe, however, had a few more pranks—uh...plans for her and her new "friend."

* * *

**AN: And there you go, filler and spoilers for the rest of the thing. Relatively short because I ran out of steam.**


	6. Angry Again

Next day...

Lunch break came around and Tomoko decided not to go to her usual spot. She wanted to minimize the risk of running into that Kurosawa prick as much as possible. She would just have to find somewhere else to hide out. It couldn't be that hard, right? She took inventory before she left the classroom. Game system, check. Book, check. Phone, check. Lunch...Lunch...'Fuck me with a sceptre!' she thought. She forgot her freaking lunch. Story of her fucking life! Sure it was nowhere near the worst thing that's ever happened to her, but it was still an inconvenience. She could always go to the cafeteria. Which was full of people. Full of eyes watching her, judging her, laughing behind her back. The thought made her shiver. To hell with that, she'd rather fight giants in the woods with box-cutters. She packed her things and decided to go for a walk around the school. She should be able to figure something out if she moved around a bit.

Kikuchiyo decided to take a walk around the school instead of going back to that pocket in the alley between the North and South building. He really didn't want to run into that Kuroki chick again, so his plan, wander around, find a new place to chill, eat, then jam out. As he came across the stairway leading up to the roof he realized that he had been at this school for three years, and he had never been up there. He figured now was a good time to fix that. He imagined the roof would be a nice quiet area where he could enjoy his music. That and it would be the perfect place to toke up. However, after he made his way up the stairs, he found that the entrance was closed off. "Oh no, they locked the doors to the roof." he sarcastically said to himself. "Whatever will I-" With swift movement he threw the point of his elbow into the window. This only served to cause him pain. "Okay, then." he said trying to shake it off, "Take this then. Teep kick!" he cried attempting to kick the door open. He wound up knocking himself back and falling to the floor cursing. "You win this round, school security." he said raising his middle finger.

Contrary to what she believed, Tomoko did have a friend...acquaintance...old classmate...They-knew-each-other-in-junior-high person at school. The extent of her relationship with Kotomi Komiyama was that they had similar interests and knew each other's name. Well, Kotomi did anyway. As far as caring went, if one of them were to witness the other drowning they would save each other, but if they were to see the other get hit by a bus the most they would feel was surprise that it happened. And as of late, they weren't exactly on the best terms. Tomoko, however, had time to kill and feelings she needed to vent. The way she saw it, she disliked Komiyama slightly less than Kurosawa.

"And you know what he says to me?" Tomoko angrily asked, "He says to me..."

"Why are you talking to me?" replied Kotomi without looking away from the book she was reading. She was still sore about several things Tomoko had done to her in the past.

"How dare that Kurosawa asshole call me pitiful!" Tomoko exclaimed, completely ignoring Kotomi. "Is he implying that I'm all alone? 'Cause I am not alone. No, I am lone. There's a difference; lone is a choice and alone is an unfortunate predicament."

"Hey, shut up. You're in the library. Wait," she looked up from her book, " Kurosawa? Kikuchiyo Kurosawa?"

"You know him?"

"I've heard a few things, you know, since the 'accident.'"

"How the hell do you know about that? Last time I checked, you weren't any higher up on the totem pole than me."

"I'm the librarian. I hear everything. That and I had shop class."

"We have a shop class?"

"_Had_ one."

"Had—What the hell happened?"

Kotomi paused to give Tomoko a look. "You don't want to know." she finally answered.

So he wouldn't be able to get high on the roof, big deal. He didn't mind walking a little more; he was enjoying the exercise. His mood got worst when he spotted a familiar face in the hall coming his way. It was an upper-class with dark hair like his but shorter, his frame was thinner, and had a very handsome face. Think of a typical shojo male lead. There were two, well three now, people in the school that Kikuchiyo wanted to avoid. There was Makoto, whose fake arm was like a baseball bat. There was that Kuroki chick, who he kept checking his back for. Then there was...

"Kyuzo..." he growled under his breath.

"Hey there!" the upper-class greeted, "Well, if it isn't the runt of the Kurosawa litter. Kikuchiyo, the Unlucky Seventh."

"Well hey there," Kikuchiyo replied, " if it isn't Mr. fucking Harris giving me the same fucking speech you gave me this same fucking morning and as well as yester-fucking-day the same fucking way since the day of my fucking genesis!" And with a mocking applause he added, "You're such a creative fucking poet, Kyuzo!"

"You know, little brother, you need to learn to relax."

"Yeah no, I'll relax. After I kick your ass, you arrogant cock-bite!"

"C'mon, Kikuchiyo, when are we going to leave all this water under the bridge?"

"Well, when you can fess up about your 'business.' You know, the one you kinda dumped on me after 'the accident.' That'd be a great start."

"Yeah, I don't see that happening. You see, I am the very model of a perfect Japanese student with a bright future ahead of him. You on the other hand..."

"I on the other hand have the balls to show my true colors, you poser bitch."

"You throw around a lot of fighting words, Kikuchiyo, but you have yet to prove you can back them up."

"I kicked your ass once, Kyuzo!"

"That time was a fluke. I even gave you the chance to do it again. Six times."

"And I'll do it a seventh."

"You couldn't even do it a second."

"Muay Thai Flying Knee!" Kikuchiyo cried before leaping towards his brother with his knee pointed out. With a roll of his eyes, Kyuzo stepped slightly to the left, dodging the knee, and punching his younger sibling in the face right between the eyes in mid-air. Kikuchyo dropped like a sack of coal and laid out on the floor.

"Next time, you shouldn't call out your attack. This isn't Dragonball Z. And you probably shouldn't use the same fancy trick over and over again."

"Oh yeah?" he said with a groan. "Well Three Days Grace called. And they want you to go fucking kill yourself, you preppy bastard!"

"I'll see you at home, little brother." Kyuzo said walking off.

"See you at home." Kikuchiyo replied with a defeated sigh, still downed.

Tomoko found her way to the roof's stairway. She remembered about a year ago she was in this same situation (minus the greasy headbanger); roaming the school to find a nice quiet place where she could just be her. She climbed up the stairs just for the sake of nostalgia. The doors were still locked and the room was still empty. She recollected her first year, and how she made her own little fort made of desks she found lying around there. It wasn't a particularly exciting time in her life, but the memories were peaceful ones. Then her stomach growled. 'Oh, right. I forgot my lunch. Crap, if it isn't one fucking thing it's another!' There was a new vending machine downstairs, maybe she could get a snack from there. Before she left, she noticed a footprint in the dust coating the door. Someone must have tried to kick it open earlier. As she moved on, she wondered what kind of idiot would try that.

"You have got to be kidding me." All Kikuchiyo wanted was a coffee from the vending machine. He paid his fee, he made his choice, and then the goddamn thing jams on him. "Can that even happen with these kinds of machines!?" he cried aloud in frustration. Luckily, no one was around to see or hear him which made his following actions easier. First, he slammed on it with his fist. Nothing. "Come on." Then he threw a knee at it. "Gimme a break." And then another. He started punching at it furiously, "Piece of shit!" and as a last resort he began head-butting it screaming with vengeful wrath yielding no results. "Fuck this!" he cried as he stormed away in defeat. He didn't need the drink anyway.

Maybe it was pure habit, but Tomoko found herself making her way back to the alleyway. She still hadn't found that vending machine, but figured she could sit down and relax for a while and continue her search on her way back to class. Hunger aside, this little stroll she decided to take was a rather pleasant and peaceful break from the norm.

Kikuchiyo was pissed off, worn out, and had no conscious idea where his legs were taking him. Within the last half hour he had his ass kicked by that cocky sack of shit he was obligated to call brother, a door, and a vending machine. Weren't walks around the school supposed to be pleasant and peaceful? Whatever, he still had his lunch and he knew there was a place he could sit down, relax, and eat around here.

After everything that happened, they almost forgot why they were trying to stay away from this spot in the first place. Then they were reminded when they came face-to-face with each other. Sparks flew the instant their eyes met. "Whatever." they said in unison. Neither of them were in the mood to engage hostilities. They sat across from each other, kept their mouths shut, and tried to keep to themselves. He put his ear-buds in, she propped her book up, and they both did their best to ignore each other. This worked until he opened his bento and heard a noise. Before he dug in, he looked up and saw her sinking down covering her reddening face with her manga as her stomach growled again. He tried to ignore her and eat his lunch, but another growl went off even louder this time. He looked up again; her hands were shaking in embarrassment and the book pressed against her face.

"Here." he said handing her his bento. Small, frail looking, she looked like she needed it more than he did.

"Huh?" Tomoko peeked out from the book. He gave her an irritated look along with his lunch. "A-are...are you...?"

"Just take it before I change my mind."

She shyly put her book away, and reached for the bento. Maybe he wasn't that much of a bad guy-'Wait a minute!' she thought, 'Motherfucker, he's reversing the formula! He's taking pity on me! Must fight back, must counter-tsundere!' She pulled her hands back and crossed her arms "Sorry, but I don't need your pity."

"Okay." he replied. Without any hesitation Kikuchiyo took back his bento and gobbled up its contents.

Tomoko watched in regretful horror as he finished every bit of food in front of her. She really thought he'd insist on her taking him up on his kindness. "Y-you know...I am anemic." she said to him. 'Great, now I'm begging this caveman for scraps.'

"That sucks." Kikuchiyo replied with his mouth half-full, "'Cause I just finished." he added tossing the empty bento to her. Tomoko's pride had screwed her over.

* * *

**Re-post for late revision. **

**AN: The idea behind Kikuchiyo's character was to be a contrast the Tomoko's passive-aggressive personality by being more active-aggressive. I hope I was able to express that in this chapter while moving the plot along. I'm pretty weak with plot development.**


	7. Individual Thought Patterns

As free period came to an end, Tomoko and Kikuchiyo got up and made their way back to class. She followed him for a while and, before they entered the building, finally worked up the nerve to say, "That was a real dick move back there."

"Hey, I offered and you declined." Kikuchiyo replied.

"I'm anemic, you prick!"

"I fail to see how that's my problem. What I do see as my problem is you following me. Why are you following me?"

"We're going the same way."

He retorted with high-pitched gibberish. "That's what you sound like."

"Oh yeah?" She shot back with primal grunting noises. "That's what you sound like."

"There's a vending machine around here. If I give you some change and pointed you in the right direction, will you fuck off?"

"It'd be a nice place to start." Her pace was brought to an abrupt halt when he grabbed her by the head, handed her a bill with some coins, and let go of her once she took the money then told where the machine was.

"Now get lost."

Tomoko went ahead. Before she went inside, she turned around. "Um...Th—thanks."

"Just go!" he waited for her to go in before reaching into his pockets. "You do one little favor for someone, and they make a huge fucking deal out of it," he mumbled, "That fucking machine's cursed anyway." He pulled out a small plastic bag and a lighter. 'Just one toke.' he thought, 'Should be able to hold me over for a bit.'

It was supposed to be a brand new machine that came in a week ago, and yet the thing looked like it had already seen some things and done some stuff it wouldn't recommend. She wondered if someone beat it up at some point; like actually tried to fight the vending machine. 'Just a drinks.' she thought. No snacks, no solid edible material, just drinks. 'That bastard really wanted me gone, huh?' She put the money into the machine and picked out a canned coffee. She could use the perk anyway and at least she would have something in her system. 'Joke's on him. This is his cash I'm wasting.' There were two thuds from the dispenser; she reached in and pulled out two cans. Joke's on him, indeed.

For literature class, the teacher had his students pair up for the assignment. Everyone got up, chose partners, and sat back down. Everyone but a little otaku girl and a stoned metal head.

'Look at that, all the guys are gravitating towards the slutty bitches,' Tomoko internally sneered, 'What a shock Using this time as an excuse to flirt and socialize, meanwhile I can get so much more done by myself.'

'I have like five fingers,' Kikuchiyo thought, 'What if instead of fingers we all had like robot claws?' "Whoa."

The teacher approached him while inspecting the groups his students made. "Kurosawa."

"Shit!" He nearly jumped out of his seat. "You didn't bring enough pigs to hurt me!"

"Kurosawa, why don't you pair up with Kuroki over there?" he asked.

"Why don't you suck my ass, you crusty old fagot."

"You used that one yesterday, Kikuchiyo."

"Oh shit, did I? Uh...well...Go fuck yourself-"

"With a rusty tire iron? Used that one last week. Or were you going for razor dildo? You also used that one last week."

"Uh...Fuck...Okay um...Blow a...she-male...or something."

"Okay, that's a new one. To be fair though, my six-year-old daughter could come up with something better."

"Yeah. I tell you, I'm losing my edge."

"How about 'get fucked by a coked up horse?'"

"Huh. You know, what I like that. That's pretty good."

"Or maybe 'go work with her before I report your stoney ass.'"

"Pft. What? Stoney?" he laughed in denial, "Nah man, I'm clean. Sober. I have been for like thirteen days and seven nights."

"Your eyes are so red I feel the need to douse you in holy water and hold a cross up to you." the teacher shot back, "Seriously Kurosawa, I don't care what kind of drugs you're on or why as long as you don't do them during class hours. That's how the accident happened, remember?"

Kikuchiyo sighed and hung his head. "Yeah, I remember."

"So I don't have to remind you that thin ice doesn't even begin to describe the shit you're in, a fucking minefield is more appropriate, and if it were any other teacher you'd be out here faster than...I can't even think of an analogy for it. That's how bad it is. Understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Now, get with Kuroki before I flunk the both of you."

'This is fucking bullshit!' Tomoko thought, 'Partnering up. I can get things done much faster on my own. I don't need any of these fucking mouth breathers getting in my way! I'm fine all on my own.'

"Alright. You, me, let's get this shit over with." said a male voice.

'Oh, god. Someone wants to partner up with me!' she perked up at the thought. 'A guy wants to-' Her excitement ceased when she looked to see who her partner was. 'Son of a motherfucking whore!' It was him again. Seriously out of all the cosmic jokes she's been the butt of, this was one dragging on way longer than it needed too.

"Yeah, I don't like it either." he said after reading her face, "But if we get this crap done, we'll never have to speak to each other again. Deal?"

She glared at him and nodded in agreement.

"Great." There was an awkward pause before he asked, "Do you know what we're doing?"

She gave him another, an alarmed, look. 'Tell me he's not as lost as I am.' The silence was enough to answer both of their questions.

"Crap."

"Okay, uh...m-maybe we can fake it." Tomoko suggested, "Just pretend we're working."

"Yeah, that'll work." Kikuchiyo sardonically answered. "Until we turn in jack nothing. There's no point in pretending if we get caught anyway." Ironically, he was caught under the influence just a minute ago and made a rather poor attempt to cover it up.

"You know, you don't seem like the very diligent type," the pot said to the kettle.

"Let's get one thing straight," he cried, "I am a furious little cinnamon bun, and you will know and fear my delicious honey-sweet wrath!"

"What is wrong with you?" She had no idea what that was supposed to mean.

"I am so baked right now!" And neither did he. "I'm high, I'm angry, and I've got the munchies real bad!"

Now that he mentioned it, she did notice is eyes looked a little bloodshot. But that didn't stop her from coming back to, "Even after you had lunch? While I starved?"

"Motherfu- Are you still mad about that!? I gave you money for a snack machine-"

"It was a drink machine, douche!"

"It's still something in your system."

"Two canned coffees are not going to give me sufficient iron."

"Son of a- That fucking thing gave you two!? That bitch didn't even give me one!"

"You knew that thing was faulty!? You dick!"

"Is everything okay?" the teacher asked. The two of them almost jumped out of their seats. "Do you know what the assignment is?"

"Uh..." Neither of them wanted to answer and look stupid.

"You're playing word association and writing a sestina with the words you come up with."

"O-okay." Tomoko answered. She took a look at the chalkboard; it was all written up there, including the definition and format of a sestina. Boy did she feel stupid, but at least now she knew what she was doing.

"Great." The teacher then moved on to inspect the other groups.

"Alrighty then." Kikuchiyo said. He drummed his fingers on the desk and started rapping, "Writing a sestina, just like gravy in a pita...What the fuck is a sestina?" He still had no idea what he was doing. "Seriously, what the hell is a sestina?"

She was confused by his change in character. An hour ago, he was hostile, reclusive, and didn't want anything to do with her. At the moment though, he seemed rather chipper, talkative, and uncannily cooperative. She wondered if it had anything to do with whatever drugs he was on. "Let's just play the word game, I'll take care of the rest." She leaned back and tried to think of a word to start out with, and noticed that he was wearing a lot of black despite his uniform. His wristbands, his tie, his hair, she could even see that his undershirt was black. Her mind naturally went to, "Black."

"Norway."

'Norway?' How black and Norway were connected was completely lost on her, but it did bring to mind a book she read awhile back. "Um...M-missionary." She meant the position.

"Sodomy." He thought she meant the priest.

This exchange was starting to make her blush. "T-tentacles." You can probably figure out how those relate.

"Ktulu."

Tomoko wrote down the words they came up with and counted. Six words to repeat, and they had to come up with a story using them; black, Norway, missionary, sodomy, tentacles, and Cthulhu. 'The fuck is this!?' How do you make a story with this set? 'Seriously, the fuck is this!?' Her partner's constant drivel didn't help either.

"C'mon, seriously. Yesterday I couldn't get you to shut up about the 'accident,' now you're giving me the fucking silent treatment. C'mon!"

She just couldn't think with him nagging her. He just kept going on and on. 'Dumbass, it's on the board!' she thought to herself.

"I don't like being outta loop here. Quit being a bitch, Kuroki, and tell me what a sestina is."

It went on for another minute. It was irritating the hell out of her. Yesterday he didn't want to say a word, and now he just wouldn't shut up. In a pulse of pure frustration, she grabbed the collar of his jacket and shook him fiercely. There are two kinds of angry people in the world: the customer who yells at the clerk for not taking their coupon, and the clerk who remains quiet day after day and finally shoots everyone in the store. Kikuchiyo was the customer. Tomoko..."The chalkboard! In front of the room! Has everything written on it! You dumb stoner fuck!" ...was the clerk. It took a second for her to notice the complete silence that suddenly filled the room, and then a turn of the head to notice the entire classroom staring at them. She went completely red and her hands, still hooked on her partner's clothing, shook. Her life was practically made of embarrassing moments, but nothing could beat this outburst.

"I'm not even gonna bother," the teacher said shaking his head. She had punished herself enough already.

"Geez, could you say it and not spray-Gak!" The cross-collar choke is a basic, but fearsome submission in jiu-jitsu where you strangle your opponent with their own clothing by grabbing their collar and crossing your arms. When Tomoko cringed at her realization, she brought her arms in and accidentally choked him with this move. Though unaware of the technique, she did become aware of the choke and decided to hold it for a few seconds. Rage is a hell of drug.

* * *

**AN: 666, pick up sticks. With those stats, I think now is a good time to thank you guys for sticking with, what is easily, my second stupidest idea ever. This wasn't supposed to go on this long, but I think I'm pretty close to wrapping this crap up. So please bear with me, and again, thank you.**


	8. Ripped Apart

Ogino, who apparently was given a name in manga and the author of this fanfic just neglected to re-read it, dismissed her class for the day. As she gathered her papers, she looked over a note from the literature teacher once more. It seemed that there was some hostility between Tomoko Kuroki and Kikuchiyo Kurosawa during his session. The latter did not surprise her but the former, well, it did leave her feeling a bit disappointed and concerned. Disciplinary action was not taken and, despite the conflict between them, they did manage to complete the assignment. Still, she wanted to have a word with Tomoko about her sudden aggressive behavior after class.

"I know I said you shouldn't get involved with Kurosawa, but I didn't mean you should hit him with a Donny Yen move." Ogino joked, "But really, Kuroki. It's not like you to just lash out like that."

Tomoko looked away sheepishly. She felt humiliated and angry. It was his fault that she was being held after school in the staff room. It was his fault that she exploded in class. It was his fault that her classmates now viewed her as a loose cannon.

"Remember, nothing we say leaves this room. You can tell me anything."

Tomoko took a deep breath and shouted, "He just irritates me so much!" She vented her frustration towards Kikuchiyo starting from the very second they met right down to his toasted ramblings. Whether it was a part of her that didn't want to get him into too much trouble or she just didn't care, she did leave out the part about him being high in class.

The teacher patiently listened to her student. In a way, she was impressed. In just a couple of days the two most socially inept kids in her class: shy quiet Tomoko and obnoxious aloof Kikuchiyo were getting to know each other. She couldn't tell if this was a good thing or not, though.

"Well, Kuroki," she said after her student was done ranting, "As a professional, I'd advise you to keep your distance. But honestly, I think if you had just let him help you in the first place then you might have prevented all this and still got the work done. What is a sestina, by the way?"

"I-it's a structured p-poem. You take six words, make a story with them, and end each line with one of them. Six verses, each with a different order."

"See? That wasn't so hard. You could have just told him that."

Tomoko looked away ashamed. She hated when her teacher was right.

"Tell you what: I'll let the other teachers know to keep you two separated, but as far as your relationship with him goes outside the classroom is for the both of you to sort out. I'd rather you not get involved with him, but it sounds like it's too late for that. But who knows, maybe you can be a positive influence on him. After all, we haven't had any serious problems with him until 'the accident.'"

That last bit caught her attention. She looked back at her teacher and tilted her head curiously, "Sensei, what was 'the accident?'"

"Oh...Uh..." Ogino was hesitant to answer her question. "The 'accident'... There are some things, Kuroki, that are just best left unsaid."

"A-are you saying..."

"I'm saying that you don't want to know. Anything else you want to talk about?"

"N-no, sensei." Tomoko replied disappointed.

"Alright, dismissed."

* * *

There were days where Kikuchiyo felt God was just pissing on his head. Today he got punched in the face by his ass-hat brother, who he was going to see at home soon, was defeated by inanimate objects, a vending machine and a door, got choked out by a girl who was about two-thirds his size, and then there were the feral cats in Chapter 6 that were not mentioned but were still totally there. This was easily one of those days. As he headed to Kanbei's place, he summed up his feelings with a single thought, "I hate cats."

In hindsight, she really should have just told him what a sestina was. If she wasn't so pissed off at him, she would have been genuinely impressed that he managed to write it at all. Let alone that he jotted it down so quickly, she'd have thought he had it pre-planned if we were any faster. Maybe there was a little more to him than she thought. Then again, he was baked when he did it. Nah, he was still a fucking moron. If he was really that smart, he wouldn't need to get high. "What's wrong with cats?" she asked him.

"Bunch of flea-bitten sociopaths running around like they fuckin' own the god damn world and—Hey, what the fuck!?" He turned around to find Tomoko right behind him. "How did you get here!?"

"Powers." she sassed. "I have 'em."

"The hell are you doing following me again?"

"I-if you must know, there's a game I ordered a while back and I have to pick it up from the shop." she answered. "You just happen to be going my way."

"And you just happen to be moving right behind me, and just happen to be moving at the same pace?"

"You still mad about lit. class?" she asked with a malicious grin. She took a small bit of pride in neutralizing a larger opponent, even if it was a fluke.

"I'd could ask the same thing. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were following me out of spite."

"Well maybe I just wanted to say I was sorry about what happened in class. But now that you killed the mood, I'm gonna go ahead and say 'fuck you!'" She said moving ahead of him.

"Well fuck you too then, skank."

"Cock-smoker!"

"Anal-cunt! Wait, let me take that back. I actually kinda like that band."

Tomoko shot back with both middle fingers without so much as turning her head.

* * *

"Dude, Kanbei, it smells a lot weirder in here than usual." Kikuchiyo said walking into his brother's house.

"Oh, yeah. Today is the third anniversary of that cheating succubus finally getting the hell out of my life. So I'm baking some 'special' brownies. You gonna want any?"

"Oh, hell yeah. I've had a real shitty day today, I could use a good high right now."

"Got into another scrape with Kyuzo?"

"How did-"

"Twitter." Kanbei held up his phone, which read, "Fought dumbass brother again. Took me one punch lol," and said, "There are six of you guys, I have to keep tabs on your dumbasses somehow."

"Even in disgrace, you're still lookin' out for all of us, huh?"

"The burden of being the eldest. Lot easier now that most of you are grown up. But you two fight all the time, somethin' else is bothering you."

"It's...it's nothing."

"It's that girl again, isn't it?" he asked playfully.

"No...Maybe...I don't know, I might be a little upset! I just don't fucking get her! I see she's hungry and she forgot her lunch, so I offer to give her mine. She's too proud to take it, I take it back. But she is still mad about it about an hour later! And during class, that little psycho X-chokes me!"

"Why'd she do that?"

"I don't remember. Something to do with black metal and Lovecraft. I was toasted! And on top of that, she will not stop following me. She followed me back to class after lunch, and she almost followed me here like a damn dog. It's not even stalking. I think she just does it to piss me off!"

"Well dude, maybe she's taken a liking to you and just doesn't know how to express it."

"Kanbei please," the little brother begged, "Don't jinx me like that. I don't need that kind of guilt trip."

"What guilt? I'm not saying you have to nail her. I'm just saying that you could use a friend."

"I don't need friends, and I don't want to call that annoying little shit one."

"Why not?"

"Because...Just because, alright?"

"Hey, kid. I know it's only been a month and I can't exactly relate to the kind of trauma the 'accident' must have caused. But you need to start letting people in at some point. I mean, yeah, it kinda was your fault."

"Gee, thanks."

"But these are the best years of your life. You gotta seize the day and enjoy them with somebody while you can, because before you know it they just slip away, and you're left searching for those wasted years."

"Wow, Kanbei, that got kinda dark."

"Sorry, little man. Just thinking about the ex-wife again." And then the egg timer went off. "Brownies are done."

"Fuck yeah, let's get baked!"

* * *

"It sounds like you've got a crush and just don't know how to express yourself." Tomoki said with his nose in a book.

"What? C'mon, what...what makes you think that?"

"Well, yesterday you barged in here asking about your boy problems, and here you are today doing the same thing. You just won't shut up about this guy."

"Jealous?" his sister asked with a smirk.

"Sure, whatever gets your rocks off." he answered flatly. "Then you tell me you've followed him around because you had something to say to him."

"And?"

"Just seems weird, even for you, to even bother for someone you claim to dislike."

"Well, the way you put it. It just sounds so...elementary."

"And?"

"I'm halfway through high school, Tomoki."

"But your social skills haven't gotten any better since grade school, Tomoko." If anything, he thought that they had gotten worse since then. Tomoko let out a sigh, and Tomoki added, "Just stop trying so hard, let things run their course, and you might end up with a friend. One you can talk to and bother with your problems, instead of me."

"Or...I could just jump on his nerves and drive him to the brink of insanity!" she replied with excitement.

He finally looked away from his book and at his sister. He tried to think why he even bothered anymore, but he felt that even if he had the mental capacity of Stephen Hawking he still could not come up with a decent answer. "Yeah no, that's a perfect plan. Probably your best idea yet."

There was a pause before she answered, "You're kind of a dick sometimes, you know?" She was not impressed by her little brother's sarcasm.

"You're kind of annoying all the time," he quipped, "you know that?"

Before she left the room, Tomoko said, "You know, I missed these little talks of ours. Maybe we should start doing them again."

"Maybe we shouldn't."

* * *

The next day—Oh, you know how it goes.

"Okay, seriously. How do you keep beating me here!?"

"Science-fiction." he replied. "Why the fuck do you keep coming here?"

"This is my spot! I found it near the end of my first year!"

"Well that's too bad, 'cause I already marked my territory."

"Whaddya...Oh, gross! You peed here?"

"Something like that."

After a moment of silence, Tomoko sat down defiantly. "I'm not leaving." she declared.

"Well neither am I."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

With that, they stared each other down for a good five minutes. "Sure is windy today." Tomoko said as tumbleweed blew by.

"Yup."

And so they spent the next half hour just sitting there staring at each other like a couple of animals ready to fight for territory. The unspoken deal was whoever moved first lost rights to the spot. And then the bell rang signifying that it was time to return to class.

"Fuck!" they cried together. Neither of them wanted to go first. If they did, then they would give up their rights to the spot.

"On three." she said to him.

"Winner takes all."

"Deal," she agreed, "One..."

"Three!" Kikuchiyo jumped to his feet and bolted.

"Motherfucker!" Tomoko cried running after him.


	9. Before the Hangman's Noose

"Get out of my way, asshole!"

"Victory or death, bitch!"

Just as she caught up to him, he threw his leg out and tripped her. Before he could get too far ahead, however, he fell on his face when she grabbed his ankles and wrapped her arms around both his legs. He continued on by dragging his body along with his arms. In response, she began to crawl up his back.

"Upper...body...strength!" he cried. Then he let out a yelp of pain as she pulled his head back by his hair.

'Fucking disgusting!' she thought feeling the oil from his hair through her fingers, 'Must persevere, though! Cannot let him win!'

Kikuchiyo flipped over on his back with the idea of crushing her with his weight. As soon as this happened, Tomoko's mind flashed back to a manga she read; she threw her free arm around his throat and swam the other under his armpit. To keep her from getting the choke, Kikuchiyo tucked his chin and grabbed the wrist of the arm under his pit. His grip helped him turn over, but before he could hop to his feet she wrapped her legs around his waist and grabbed the lapels of his coat. She tried to choke him out again with the cross-collar. He planted one hand on her hip and pushed her knee away with the other to prevent that and break out of the position.

"Not! This! Time!" Kikuchiyo shouted.

"I! Will! End you!"Tomoko cried back.

Their roll was brought to a halt when they noticed two feet in front of them.

Ogino looked down at them with her arms crossed and an icy stare. "Staff room. Both of you. After school."

* * *

They waited outside the staff room until Ogino called them in. Tomoko stayed quiet throughout the meeting seething in silent rage while Kikuchiyo did all the talking.

"Okay, Ogino. What happened in the hallway, it wasn't what it looked like." Kikuchiyo explained.

"Really?" the teacher snapped back, "Because it looked like a couple of spoiled children fighting over a who gets to play in the sandbox!"

"...Okay, so it was exactly what it looked like."

Oginor sighed. "Kuroki, I never know what to expect from you, but I know you can do better than that degenerate Kurosawa!"

"I'm standing right here, ya know."

"I know, I said it aloud on purpose! I'm rolling the dice here, but you two need to be taught a lesson in co-operation. I want you two to clean up and organize the sports equipment shed. Just the two of you, together. Any questions?" She groaned when Kikuchiyo raised his hand. "Yes, Kurosawa?"

"So you're not gonna watch us?"

"No. I have to coach the Tennis team. I will check up on you after I'm done with practice."

"And you're just gonna leave two hormonally crazed teenagers alone together in a closed off area?"

"I'm leaving the two most socially inept teenagers in my class alone in a closed off area. Based on your behavior earlier, I'm more concerned about having to clean up your blood and hide your bodies."

"Sensei, are you drunk?"

As a matter of fact, before they came into the staff room, she took a swig from the flask hidden in her desk and rolled an actual dice to help make this decision. A two or a three meant they might kill each other, and a six meant they might let hormones get the better of them. She rolled a five.

"Just get it done, okay?" Ogino demanded.

"Yeah, whatever. You batty old hag." he muttered as he walked out.

Ogino leaned back in her chair and exhaled loudly. Tomoko stayed right were she was, as if waiting for permission to leave. "Kuroki, I'm asking a lot right now, but I just need two things from you: get the job done and don't do anything stupid." Tomoko nodded her head. "Dismissed." She groaned again as her student left. This was a bad decision and she knew it.

* * *

"So, let me get this straight. You have to clean up the gym equipment shed, with this guy you hate, because you really didn't want to give up that little pocket between the north and south buildings."

"In a nutshell." Tomoko said to her brother.

"I thought you told me you had the whole school mapped out. Couldn't you find another spot?"

"It's the principle, Tomoki. Just tell mom I'll be home late."

"Whatever. Maybe you two can learn to get along after this."

"Yeah, fat chance. Just know that if I don't come back tonight, then the quickening has begun."

"You were up late watching Highlander, weren't you?"

"There can be only one!"

Kikuchiyo came by and nudged Tomoko, "C'mon. Let's get this over with." Then kept going.

"Was...was that Kikuchiyo Kurosawa?" Tomoki asked, "The guy you've been complaining about all week was Kikuchiyo Kurosawa?"

"Wha-...What the hell man!?" Tomoko cried, "You just got here, how that hell do you know that guy!?"

"'The accident' was a pretty big thing. Just about everybody knows about it."

"Well what was the 'accident?'"

"Wait, how do you not know?"

Last month, when "the accident" occurred, Tomoko happened to be asleep in class during the P.A. announcement about the shop building closing down. As was she when Kikuchiyo was put in her class.

"Uh-uh." she shrugged.

"You probably don't want to know, then." her brother answered as he walked away.

"But I really do, though!"

* * *

"Aw, what the hell!?" Kikuchiyo complained. The storage room seemed just as, if not more, disorganized and cluttered than his oldest brother's house. The only thing missing was the pot smell. "It's like she wrecked this place on purpose just for us. I feel so loved."

"Oh well, let's jump in the fire." She noticed that he was giving her the weirdest look. "What?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing. I just pegged you more Megadeth than Metallica, that's all."

"What are you going on about now?"

"Jump in the Fire? Kill 'Em All? No?"

Other than wanting to kill him by throwing him into a fire, nothing he said rung any bells. "Let's just clean up the damn shed." Tomoko let him go in first and then closed the door behind her. For several minutes they went to work in total silence doing their damnedest to avoid any eye contact. The quiet tension made her very uncomfortable. By the time the floor was finally cleared up, her anxiety reached its peak and Tomoko finally asked, "So, about the 'accident-'"

"I got high in shop class and chopped off my best friend's arm."

She froze when he answered. She didn't know what to expect, but it sure as hell wasn't such a direct answer. "H-huh?"

"Are you happy now, you nosy little bitch? A month ago, my best...my only friend gave me some really potent herb. I was having a really shitty day, so I got high on it. Against my gut feeling, I toked up during shop class and I cut off his arm. I was using the table-saw and somehow instead of pushing this 4x4 into it, I pushed my buddy's forearm into it. Like I said, really potent. I don't know how the hell it happened, but it did. My brother Kyuzo, who is supposiby a model student, was also a drug dealer at this school, and 'the accident' was enough for him to pass the trail onto me and I almost got expelled. I don't think I need to explain why. My oldest brother, Kanbei, managed to pull some strings, so now the shop is closed off and I was transferred to your class."

She stared at him for a while. "Wow."

"Wish you didn't know now don't you?"

"Yeah, I kinda wish I didn't." she replied, "I mean, it didn't really live up to all the hype but...Holy shit, wow." It was still a lot to take in at once. "We had a shop class...Wait, if this only happened a month ago, why haven't I heard anything about this?"

Kikuchiyo put his finger on his wrist. "See this? This is the pulse," then he held his finger up to her. "And this is your finger..." he reached behind his back, "...jammed far up your ass away from the pulse," and then reached out for a handshake, "Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?"

Tomoko couldn't decide whether she was more annoyed or amazed by how quickly he switched from brooding to smart-ass. She turned her back and got back to work. They were almost done anyway. Just a while longer and she'd be rid of this jackass...for the rest of what was left of the day, before she saw him in class the next day. 'I hate him. I hate him so much.'

It took about thirty minutes for them to finish their task. It really wasn't as messy as it looked.

"Well, this place is nice and neat." Kikuchiyo said dusting his hands off.

"Spik and span."

"We should be good to leave."

"Yup." She made her way to the door, "See ya' tomorrow, fuck face."

"Later, shit-for-brains."

"Dick basket." She tried to open the door, but it didn't budge. "Oh no." She closed the door out of habit. She didn't know that it locked automatically when it shut. This story should have been called _A Series of Increasingly Bad Decisions._

"What's wrong?"

"W-we...We're locked in."

"Whaddya mean?"

"Exactly that, dumbass." she answered still trying pry the door open, "We're trapped in the shed."

"Here, outta my way." Kikuchiyo ran towards the door and leaped into the air. "Muay Thai Flying Knee!" He just crashed into it and fell back. "Ah goddamnit, my knee!"

Any hope that there was some hidden badass in that crouching moron vanished when she looked down at him. 'What a fucking goof. How the hell would that even work on a sliding door? And to think this guy had the gall to call me pitiful.' Disappointed, she searched her book-bag for her phone. She let off another sigh when she found it.

"Crap, my phone's dead. What about you? You have a cell phone, right?"

He gave her a blank stare "Uh..." He had a cell phone. _Had _a cell phone, before an earlier conversation with his father about his detention.

"I don't know why they just don't expel your useless ass already." his father told him over the phone, "It's not like you'll amount to anything, you lazy headbanger."

"Oh yeah? Well dad, could you do me a favor and properly... Get fucked by a coked up horse, you old fucking fuck!"

"You got some nerve to say that to your old man!"

"Yeah, well I say shit like that at least once a week! Get use to it already!"

"You think you can take me? I'm an old ass man and I can still kick yours all the way to Pluto, you little pansy!"

"Bring it you geezer! I'll make you bleed out your ass!"

"Sorry, I only fight men. I don't accept challenges from little girls."

Without even bothering to hang up and shut his phone, he threw it at a tree. The impact broke it in half, rendering in completely useless. Then about half an hour later he answered Tomoko's question with, "Cell phone? What is this cell phone you speak of? I know not of this black magic."

* * *

**AN:When it comes to writing, I think fight scenes are my forte. This is the first time I wrote a fight that was just grappling, so feedback would be nice. **


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